I'll Be There For You
by swordtail600
Summary: Last chapter uploaded!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1  
  
It had been three weeks since Carter had returned to Africa to bring Luka home; three long weeks. Now Luka was back, and Carter had stayed.  
  
Abby stared up at his locker from where she sat exhausted on the lounge sofa at County General Hospital. She had just finished a double shift in the craziness of County's ER, on Halloween none the less.  
  
Her thoughts drifted back to Carter and how they had ended their turbulent relationship. She missed him, but somehow, she didn't miss being his girlfriend. She felt a renewed sense of direction and peacefulness within herself, something she hadn't felt in many years.  
  
Abby had decided to return to med school and find her own path towards happiness. Tonight was her first shift as a medical student. Well, actually, the first shift of the day was as a medical student, the second, as a nurse.  
  
She ran her hands through her long chestnut hair and rose off the couch. Opening her locker, Abby pulled out her black fleecy jacket. Pulling it on over her scrubs, Abby shoved her hands inside her gloves and arranged the toque on her head. For the end of October, the air was seasonally brisk, especially at seven in the morning.  
  
She left the lounge, said goodbye to Jerry at the front desk and rushed off to catch the 7:05 train back to her apartment.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
When Abby arrived back home, she immediately plugged the kettle in to make herself a warm mug of green tea and checked her message machine. She was surprised to find she had four new messages. She pushed the play button as she hung up her coat on the rack by her door.  
  
"Hey Abby, its mom. Just checkin' up on you. Call me sweetie, ok, bye."  
  
"BEEP"  
  
"Oh hey, Abby. It's Susan. Don't forget, my place tonight for chick flicks and ice cream. Bring your PJ's!  
"BEEP"  
  
"Hello, this is Mr. Graham from Graham's carpet cleaning, just calling to remind you....."  
  
Abby pressed the fast foreword button, skipping to the next message.  
  
"Hey Abby, it's Luka. I just wanted to know how your first shift as Dr. Lockhart went. Listen, I have a lot of Thai food here in the fridge and could use someone to help me eat it up. Give me a call when you get in."  
  
"BEEP"  
  
Abby smiled, Luka and her had been getting along so well since he returned from Africa. It was nice to have a friendship with him that was even stronger than when they had been dating.  
  
Glancing at her watch, she decided that it wasn't too early to call Susan and confirm their movie night. She also gave Luka a call and they agreed to have a late lunch at his apartment, as long as he promised that the Thai wasn't more than two days old.  
  
Abby hung up the phone and dragged herself into the shower. She needed to warm up before going to bed.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Much later that afternoon, Abby knocked on Luka's door. She had slept all through the morning and was surprised to see that her alarm clock read 2:57 when she finally awoke.  
  
After a few minutes Luka opened the door. "Hey," he smiled at her, "I thought you said lunch. Come in, come in." He put his hand on her shoulder and led her into the apartment. "I'll take your coat, go have a seat."  
  
Abby smiled apologetically at him, "I know, I'm sorry. I slept much longer than I had anticipated, I only woke up forty-five minutes ago."  
  
"That's okay, it isn't hard to heat up food. I'm glad you got some rest." Luka disappeared into the kitchen and Abby could hear the sounds of plates being filled with food and being put in the microwave. He returned a few minutes later with two large glasses of ginger ale. "Here you go," he handed her a cold glass.  
  
"Thanks." Abby took an appreciative sip; she hadn't had anything to drink since her green tea hours earlier. "So, how are you feeling?" she questioned. He looked much better than when she had seen him a few days prior.  
  
"Good. I'm continuing to get my strength back and I should be able to go back to work in a week or so." Luka eyed Abby closely, "I should be asking how you are feeling."  
  
Abby raised her eyebrows, "Oh, why is that?"  
  
"I don't know, for some reason you look a little pale. Are you feeling ok?"  
  
Abby was a little taken aback, she hadn't expected him to notice that her colour was off. "Well, I didn't think it was noticeable but I've just been feeling a little tired lately, I guess getting back into school and starting a completely different job gets me a bit more drained than usual. I'll be fine, I just need some more sleep."  
  
Luka nodded, "Go to bed early tonight and sleep in till nine tomorrow, before your shift starts."  
  
"I wish I could, but I'm going to Susan's tonight to watch movies. My shift doesn't start till noon though, so I should be okay."  
  
Just then the microwave beeped, signalling that the food was heated. "I'll get that." Luka went to retrieve the plates and Abby set the table. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
"Abby, there is a gentleman in exam two complaining of lower abdominal pain. Can you please take a history and start a work-up then come get me?"  
  
"Sure, Kerry." Abby grabbed the chart and went off to see her twelfth patient of the afternoon. She was having a very good time as a med student. So far that day she had caught a case of appendicitis in a patient only hours before it could have ruptured, successfully put in a central line and took part in a triumphant resuscitation of a ten year old boy who had passed out in the swimming pool and nearly drowned.  
  
She pushed open the door to exam two and walked in, studying the chart as she walked. "Good afternoon Mr. Walsh, my name is Abby. What can I help you with today?"  
  
The older gentleman looked up at her from where he lay on the gurney. He was very thin in the face and was holding his belly in pain. "My stomach hurts something fierce."  
  
Abby pulled on her exam gloves, "Where does it hurt sir? Is it lower down in your stomach or up high, like under your ribs?" She placed her hands over his stomach, gently pressing in different areas.  
  
"No, it just hurts all over. I've been throwing up for three days as well."  
  
Abby frowned in concentration, "Hmm, have you had any other symptoms such as diarrhoea or fever?" She placed a thermometer in his ear. His temperature was slightly elevated, 100.9.  
  
"Yes, I've had the runs for the last few days and I think I've had a fever at times. I'm just really tired of not being able to keep anything down. I feel so dizzy if I stand up or bend over too fast."  
  
"Well dizziness can be caused by fever and dehydration, which is what I believe you may be suffering from. When you have an extended period of time where you are vomiting or have diarrhoea, it is very easy to become dehydrated."  
  
"I'll tell you what we are going to do. I'm going to start you on intravenous saline, which will help rehydrate you and run some blood work. I think you are just suffering from the stomach flu but we will take a look ok? Just relax and I'll be right back." Abby smiled at the old man and stood up.  
  
"Thank you dear, I won't be going anywhere."  
  
Abby went to find Dr. Weaver and present the case. She found the red- haired doctor at the front desk. "I'm ready to present Mr. Walsh's case now Kerry."  
  
"Okay, walk with me." Dr. Weaver started off toward the exam rooms where patients were literally lined up to see a doctor.  
  
"Ok. Mr. Walsh is a seventy-one year old man, no history of health problems other than arthritis in which he takes an aspirin daily as a pain manager. He presented with abdominal pain, slight fever, diarrhoea and mild dizziness. No isolated areas of the abdomen are causing great distress and no rigidity or guarding upon examination."  
  
Dr. Weaver looked at the history Abby took. "Ok doctor, what do you suggest as your first course of action?"  
  
"I was going to start him on intravenous saline to combat the dehydration and run a CBC as a precaution. Unless the lab work says otherwise, I'm thinking he has a simple case of gastroenteritis, A.K.A, the stomach flu. I'll rehydrate him and send him home with a sample packet of Gravol and tell him to come back if his condition doesn't improve in the next two days."  
  
Dr. Weaver nodded, "Sounds good. Tell him to take some Tylenol for any fever; we want to make sure he doesn't get too dizzy at home from the fever and fall. Does he have anyone living with him?"  
  
"No but his daughter brought him in and she said she was going to stay with him until he is feeling better."  
  
"Good job Abby, come find me when the blood work comes in." Dr. Weaver limped off to help a young woman who was crying, clutching a small boy to her chest.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Abby, you have a call on line five!" Frank handed her the phone.  
  
"Thanks Frank." Abby took the receiver from the grumbling desk clerk. "Hello, this is Abby Lockhart."  
  
"Hey Abby."  
  
"Hey Luka how is it going?" Abby smiled.  
  
"Good. How is your day going? Save any patients today?"  
  
"Well that depends who you ask. I caught a hot appendix on a twenty seven year old woman today. We got her to the OR in time before it ruptured. Can you imagine? She had severe abdominal pain for two days before she came to get it checked out. She's lucky she came when she did."  
  
"Hmm, sounds like fun. It also sounds like you could use a good hot meal tonight after your shift. Do you want to go out somewhere, my treat?"  
  
Abby chuckled, "Are you asking me on a date Dr. Kovac?" She glared at Chuny who was suddenly interested in their conversation, a goofy smile plastered on her face. She noticed Abby's glare and put her hand up in mock innocence, then ran off to tell whoever would listen.  
  
"Well, I suppose you could call it that. Or you could just think that this guy here is starving and could use a little company." Luka was smiling on the other end of the line, happy with Abby's newfound playfulness.  
  
"Ok then doctor. You have yourself a date, I get off at 8:30. I can be at your place by 9."  
  
"Forget it Abby, I'll pick you up from work. I haven't been into the ER since I came in the ambulance. I wouldn't mind visiting a few people."  
  
"Ok, I'll meet you in the lounge at 8:30 then. Have a good rest of the day Luka."  
  
"You too Abby, don't kill anyone." Abby was about to bitch him out for that comment but realized he had already hung up the phone. "Jerk," she chuckled to herself.  
  
Abby sat at the front desk, thinking about what she could wear out to dinner. She suddenly realized she only had scrubs with her and they were splattered in blood from a kid who had cut his finger earlier that morning. "Uh, oh. This could be a problem." Abby racked her brain for a solution to her little problem when all of a sudden, a naked man screaming about the devil ran past. "Great," she thought to herself, "I guess he needs help." The clothes problem momentarily forgotten Abby hopped down off the stool and went down the hall in the direction of the streaker.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Whew," Abby sighed, "We cleared the board half and hour before my shift ends. I'm going to go have a coffee, anyone else care for one?" Abby at the nurses and orderly's hanging around the front desk. A few looked up at her and shook their head's, some didn't even reply. "Ok," Abby muttered.  
  
Susan came around the corner. "Hey Abby, you off yet?"  
  
"No, not yet. I've still got half an hour to go, do you want to have a coffee in the lounge?"  
  
Susan sighed, dropping her last chart on the desk. "Count me in, I could definitely use a cup right now."  
  
The two of them went into the lounge and Abby dumped out the old coffee and busied herself making a new pot.  
  
"So, Abby. What are your plans for tonight? I thought I'd get a pizza and a Kevin Bacon action film and vegetate. You want to come over?"  
  
Abby gasped, "Oh shit! I told Luka I'd go out for dinner with him but I have nothing to wear!!! Shit, shit, SHIT!! Do you think that there is a department store open around here at this time in the evening??"  
  
Susan laughed, "Ohhhhh! Abby has a date! You go girl!"  
  
Abby rolled her eyes, "Its not a date, merely two friends having dinner together."  
  
"Uh huh, Abby you two "friends" had dinner last night too."  
  
"Did not. That was lunch and he just needed help eating all the leftover Thai."  
  
Susan grinned, "Whatever. Hey! I just thought of something! I have a black dress in my locker from a previous date-gone-wrong. You can wear it if you want."  
  
Abby smiled. "I don't know Susan. I'm not sure what you did in that dress." She smiled at her knowingly.  
  
"Oh yeah right Abby. The guy was such a dick that I called Chuny in the bathroom and got her to page me. I told the guy that there was an emergency at the hospital and I had to go."  
  
Abby eyed her, "Then if you didn't have to work, then why is the black dress in your locker?"  
  
"Oh yeah. When I was leaving, I actually did get a page to come into work."  
  
"Ok, well thanks. But what if Luka is taking me to Burger King or something, I'd be a tad overdressed!" Abby looked at Susan questionably.  
  
"Um. Well, I wasn't going to say anything Abby but Luka called me last night to find out what time you were working. He's actually taking you to the Riverfront Chalet for a nice dinner."  
  
"What! That place is fancy, and expensive. Why in the world would he be taking me there?"  
  
"Oh Abby. You know why. Luka still has a thing for you and hey! You are single now. He's nice, smart, funny and god damn gorgeous! You'd be crazy to pass this up."  
  
"Susan, you do realize we dated for a year then broke up don't you."  
  
"Yeah. But he's changed now. You know that. And I think you've changed too. Just give it a chance and just because you go to dinner with him doesn't mean anything. Come on, you know you want to! Besides, the lobster there is fantastic."  
  
"Susan, this is crazy! But you know, I am kind of hungry and lobster does sound good."  
  
"Great," Susan smiled, "Now hurry up and get into this dress before he gets here!"  
  
"But I'm still on for another," Abby checked her watch, "Twenty minutes."  
  
"Oh piss, I'll cover for you. Come on. Get going!" Susan pulled the gorgeous, low-cut black velvet dress from her locker along with some make up. "Now go! Get beautiful."  
  
"Thank you Susan."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Abby smiled to herself as she made her way to the bathroom. Susan sure could be persuasive.  
  
She went in to ladies bathroom and into one of the stalls. She pulled her scrub top off and unclipped her bra. This dress allowed absolutely no room for a bra with its strapless shoulders and low cut cleavage. "Damn," Abby thought, "how is Susan comfortable wearing something so revealing." But as Abby emerged from the stall she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. "Wow, that actually does look fantastic!" Abby was impressed that she actually looked good in something without shoulder straps. Then, she got a look at her hair and make-up less face.  
  
"Ugh. I need a brush." She searched around in Susan's make-up bag and found a brush and a black velvet banana clip. Quickly she wound her hair up into a French twist and clipped it back. As she was applying a light layer of make-up, Abby realized that she was actually looking good. "There." She put away the make-up and brush and wadded her scrubs into a plastic bag.  
  
She turned around to head back to the lounge, but a sudden wave of dizziness struck her. "Whoa," she groaned as she gripped the counter, steadying herself.  
  
Once her head cleared, Abby looked into the mirror. All the colour had drained from her face and her freckles stood out in sharp contrast to the paleness of her skin. She tried to remember when she had eaten last. She had a muffin at two o'clock and a bowl of soup at ten that morning. It was now almost 8:30 pm and she was lacking food energy.  
  
Abby slowly made her way back into the lounge where Susan sat on the couch. "Holy crap Abby! You look absolutely stunning! Man, Luka is gonna be happy."  
  
"Uh, thanks," Abby said.  
  
"Hey, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost. Here, sit down."  
  
"Yeah, I think I'm just hungry. I haven't eaten enough today." Abby sank into the soft cushions. "Could you do me a favour and grab my thermos of pea soup and an apple for me?"  
  
"Of course. I'll heat it up for you." Susan looked at Abby, somewhat concerned. She looked very pale and her eyes were closed. "Abby are you feeling alright?"  
  
"Um, yeah. I just got really dizzy and light-headed. I think it just low blood sugar because I haven't had much to eat." She smelled the pea soup heating in the microwave appreciatively. "I'm feeling much better now that I'm sitting and that soup smells fabulous."  
  
Once Abby had eaten the soup and the apple, her colour returned and she insisted to Susan that she was fine. "Really, I feel much better. I just needed something with energy in it and something hot. I'll be fine."  
  
Susan looked at her, "Alright, well your colour has come back so I guess you are okay to go tonight. And I know it is hard being a med student finding time to eat, but you really have to."  
  
Abby closed her eyes, "I know. It won't happen again."  
  
Susan nodded. The door to the lounge opened and in walked Luka. "Susan, have you seen.."  
  
He caught sight of Abby on the couch. "Oh, there you are. Wow! You look fantastic!" He reached out and pulled her up. "This is for you." He handed her a white rose.  
  
"Oh Luka it's beautiful, thank you!" She smelled the flower and smiled, "It smells wonderful." He was looking absolutely fantastic in his black trousers and matching, black wool sweater with a white t-shirt underneath.  
  
"You look pretty good yourself Luka." Abby smiled and took his hand. "Shall we go eat?"  
  
"I think that would be a good idea, my car is right outside. Parked illegally in the ambulance bay I might add." Luka smiled and winked at Susan mouthing the words, "Thank you."  
  
Susan gave him a thumbs up and waved as the pair left the lounge and went off for a nice dinner along the river. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
"Mmm Luka that lobster was sooo good! Thank you for taking me for dinner, I had a great time." Abby took his hand in hers as they walked along the river under the clear November sky. They had had a lovely evening, Luka acting like a gentleman pulling her seat back for her to sit in and complimenting her attire. Abby was both excited and petrified by the attraction she was feeling towards him. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. He didn't flinch when she entwined her fingers in his and squeezed her hand back as if it were the most natural thing in the world.  
  
"You are welcome Abby. I loved spending some time with you and I have to say, you looked fantastic tonight." Luka glanced over at the woman holding his hand, not quite believing that she was there with him at that very moment.  
  
Abby blushed, "Thank you Luka, but this is Susan's dress, she thought it would look nice on me."  
  
"It isn't the dress that makes you look beautiful Abby, its you. You have a glow about you right now, a happiness that I've wanted to see you have for so long." Luka caressed the palm of her hand with his thumb.  
  
They walked a little ways and stopped to sit near the fountain in the middle of the park. Abby met Luka's eyes and was trapped in their warm, hazel gaze. "You know Luka, I think that I am finally almost happy. I'm doing something in life for myself, not worrying what others will think, what others want me to do. I'm doing it for me and I like it. My mom is happy and doing well and Eric is still on his meds."  
  
"I'm so pleased for you Abby. You deserve some happiness in life." Luka didn't know what it was, if it was the wine he had with dinner or the way the lantern light hit her face, but all he could think about was kissing her. He felt as if he had left his body as he leaned over to her, his eyes burrowing into hers. He heard her breath catch and then she leaned into him. Their lips met in the softest and gentlest of kisses starting slowly then growing fiercer.  
  
Luka pushed his hands into her soft, shimmering hair and parted his lips ever so slightly. He felt her respond by bringing her hands up his back to the base of his neck. She parted her lips and he wasted no time slipping his tongue into her warm mouth. They kissed until out of breath and when they parted, Luka felt his head grow light in both contentment and fear. He searched her flushed face uncertainly, trying to read her features. His heart skipped a beat when she saw the small smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.  
  
Abby stepped into Luka and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back strongly, crushing her to his chest. He pushed his lips into her hair, kissing her head. She leaned back and he kissed her forehead then pulled her back into his embrace. "I missed you Abby, I really did." Abby smiled as she heard his whispered words, "I missed you too Luka, so much." She gave him a squeeze then stepped out of their embrace, once again entwining their fingers together. "Why don't we go back to my place and watch a movie?"  
  
"Oh Abby, I'd love to, but I'm so tired. I'm not completely back to normal and I wouldn't be good company. I'm sorry, I would really like to come."  
  
Abby smiled, "Its okay Luka, I totally understand. My shift starts at 6am but I'll be out of there by four. Why don't you come to my house and I'll make some Chicken Cordon Bleu for dinner?"  
  
"I'd love to Abby, what could I bring?" Luka smiled at her, overjoyed that she wanted to see him again so soon.  
  
Abby leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips, "Just yourself Luka, that's all I could ever want."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Coming!" Abby yelled as she pulled her oven mitts off. She sprinted to the door and looked through the peephole. On the step she made out the tall, handsome figure of Luka Kovac and opened the door with a smile. "Hi! Sorry, I was just putting the chicken in the oven. Come in, come in."  
  
"That's ok. I was just saying hi to Mrs. Goldstein across the hall. She was telling me that I needed some good food to fatten me up." He laughed, "I don't think she realized that I haven't been here in a long time. Its like I never left."  
  
Abby smiled, "I know. Every day for the last year she has been asking me where my "Euro" boyfriend has gone. I think she is getting a little senile so finally I just told her that you had gone away for a long trip and that you were coming back at an unspecified date."  
  
Luka laughed, "Who did she think Carter was then?"  
  
"My brother. I didn't even bother to explain it to her. She is a very nosy neighbour."  
  
Luka smelled the air in Abby's apartment appreciatively, "Wow, something smells good."  
  
"Well it isn't the chicken yet because I just put it in, but I did make some rosemary-garlic potatoes that have been cooking for about fifteen minutes."  
  
"Ah, that is it. I've fasted all day Abby, for tonight."  
  
Abby laughed, "Oh now the pressure is really on. I haven't cooked a meal like this in a while, I hope we have take-out on the speed dial."  
  
"Nah. We won't need it. It smells too good to not turn out."  
  
Luka walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "I bought some sparkling apple cider, I'll put it in here for now."  
  
"Mmm Luka I love apple cider. That is fantastic." Abby turned to stir the carrots simmering on the stove.  
  
"I know. I remember that Christmas where all we drank for five days was apple cider." Luka laughed at the memory, "I swore I'd never drip a drop of it again but suddenly I've been having a craving for it.  
  
"Well you brought it to the right place." Abby turned away from the stove and took Luka's hand. "Come on, lets go sit in the living room while the chicken cooks."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Well," Luka groaned pulling at the waistband of his pants, "I'm officially full. That was a wonderful meal. Thank you Abby."  
  
Abby smiled at him, scraping the last of the béarnaise sauce on her fork and licking it off. "You are more than welcome, and I must say, I enjoyed that too. I can't eat another bite."  
  
"You don't have another bite to eat." Luka laughed, motioning to her empty plate.  
  
"Shut up," Abby teased, "I've been hungry lately. At least it wasn't ice- cream because I'd probably eat more of it."  
  
Luka smiled and got up, stacking her plate on his and pulling the cutlery together.  
  
"Luka, what are you doing?" Abby protested. "I'll clean up, I invited you over here as a guest. Sit down."  
  
Luka kissed her forehead, "You have a dishwasher, its no big deal, really. Besides, you sit and rest. You've been cooking all afternoon."  
  
Abby sighed in contentment and took another sip of her apple cider, "Thank you Luka. I'm always tired after a big meal."  
  
Abby and Luka spent the rest of the evening watching a comedy that was airing on the television. Abby sat snuggled up to Luka as he rubbed her back absentmindedly. Abby felt so warm and at ease being in Luka's presence that she drifted into sleep, his breathing lulling her to absolute relaxation.  
  
What seemed like only a second later, Abby woke to find herself being carried into her bedroom, her face pressed into Luka's sweater. He set her down gently on the bed and carefully removed her shoes. As he pulled back the covers and tucked her in, he noticed her eyes were half open. "Hey Abby, thank you so much for tonight. I had a wonderful time and dinner was excellent." He kissed her gently on the forehead and whispered a quiet goodnight into her ear. "I'll talk to you soon Abby, have a good sleep. I'll lock the door on the way out; I stole a key off your chain. I'll give it back to you tomorrow."  
  
Abby, who was only half awake smiled sleepily at him, "Keep it Luka. Goodnight, thank you for bringing me in here." She squeezed his hand ever so slightly and closed her eyes, sleep taking over once again.  
  
She felt another soft kiss on her brow and his hand on her shoulder; then he was gone.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
When Abby awoke the next morning, her head was pounding. She pried her eyes open and alarmingly noticed that the room was spinning before her. She slammed her eyes shut and groaned. All of a sudden, a strong wave of nausea crashed over her and she leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom where she expelled the entire contents of her stomach into the toilet.  
  
When she had finished, Abby gripped the edge of her sink and pulled herself up looking into the mirror above the sink. "Shit," she muttered as she saw her reflection. Her face was white except for the two red blotches on her cheeks: an after effect of intense vomiting. Her hair hung around her face, casting a dark shadow on her pale features and her tongue was white. She turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on her face. Rinsing her mouth out, Abby grabbed a towel of the ring and pushed it against her wet face, brushing damp tendrils of hair back. She couldn't believe that she had to phone in sick for her fourth shift as a medical student.  
  
After she had called Kerry who ordered her to stay in bed and drink lots of fluids, Abby returned to her bed and slept the day away. When she awoke at 5pm she was feeling considerably better and attempted to eat half a bowl of chicken soup. She sat down on the couch and flipped the cartoon network on. Despite her best efforts not to, Abby fell asleep and awoke three hours later to a pounding on her door.  
  
Groggily, she rose to answer it and wrapped a blanket around her shivering figure. She opened the door to a concerned looking Susan Lewis who held a steaming casserole dish full of homemade soup.  
  
"Hey sweetie, Kerry said you weren't feeling to good. God, you look terrible!" Susan pressed her hand against Abby's forehead, "You don't have a fever. Come on, go sit on the couch."  
  
Abby followed her instructions without comment and watched as Susan pour some of the soup into a mug. She cracked in a few soda crackers and returned to sit beside Abby on the couch.  
  
"So, how are you feeling right now?"  
  
"Alright, I'm just so tired. And this morning, I felt like I was on a ship, the ground was moving around so much."  
  
Susan studied Abby intently, "Well it is probably just the stomach flu but if you still feel awful in a few days, come into the hospital and get checked out."  
  
"Ok, I think I'll be fine by then. But Susan," Abby fidgeted nervously with her blanket, "Can I ask you a favour and have you promise you won't tell anyone?"  
  
Susan became serious, "Of course Abby, you are my friend. What can I do for you?"  
  
Abby took a deep breath, "Can you go to the pharmacy and get me a pregnancy test?" 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Later that evening, Abby sat on the couch beside Susan, counting the minutes on her VCR clock in agony. "I swear, this is the longest five minutes ever!" Abby sighed; Susan had gone to the pharmacy right away purchased a test. They were now waiting for the results.  
  
"How late are you Abby?" Susan felt her stomach knotted in anxiety and couldn't believe that Abby looked so calm.  
  
"About three weeks. I was so busy getting back into school and with Luka, that I didn't even think about it. I haven't been feeling so good in the last few days, yet I still didn't make that connection. Susan, what am I going to do?" Abby felt tears gathering involuntarily in her eyes. "Carter is half a world away and we aren't even together, and now this whole thing with Luka. How am I going to tell him?"  
  
"Tell who, Carter or Luka?" Susan felt for her friend, this was certainly a complicated situation.  
  
"Both of them." Abby buried her face in her hands. "I'll have to call Carter in Africa, if he is even by a phone, and tell him. But then I'll have to tell him about Luka and me. I don't even know where that is going yet. This is such a mess."  
  
Susan put her hand on Abby's leg in a comforting gesture. "You know, you might not even be pregnant. Besides, both Carter and Luka are great guys and you are a wonderful woman, there will be a solution to all this. I'm here for you as well, it will be okay."  
  
A tear fell from her eye as Abby looked up at Susan, "Thank you. You don't know how much you just being here is helping."  
  
Susan hugged Abby just as the timer went off. "Well, lets go so if you are going to be a mommy. Do you want to look alone?"  
  
Abby's had to remind herself to breathe. A sudden panic washed over her and she knew she wouldn't be able to look at the strip. "No, you look for me. I can't do it."  
  
Susan silently rose from the couch and walked into the bathroom. A few seconds later she returned holding the test strip in her palm. "Its positive. Congratulations!"  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Yes, I need to get a hold of John Carter. Is he reachable by phone? Yes I'll hold." Abby cradled the phone by her ear, and fidgeted with a pen that was in her hand. The voice on the other end of the line came back. "He isn't? Do you know where he is? Matenda? Can I leave a message for him here at the headquarters in case he comes back there? Ok, tell him that Abby Lockhart in Chicago needs him to call her as soon as he gets back? Thank you very much."  
  
Abby hung up the phone and tapped the pen she on the counter. She was startled out of her reverie by the ringing of the telephone. Carter couldn't possibly call back already, could he?  
  
"Hello?" Abby glanced at her watch, 10:46 pm.  
  
Luka's concerned voiced came through the receiver. "Hi Abby, how are you feeling? I called the hospital today and Frank said you were off sick."  
  
"Hi Luka. Thanks for calling; I'm feeling much better. In fact, would you mind if I popped over to your place tonight? I need to talk to you." Abby held her breath. She was worried that he wouldn't want her to stop by so late.  
  
"Sure you can. Are you okay Abby?" His voice was anxious.  
  
"I will be, I just need to talk to you. I can be there in twenty minutes."  
  
"Sure, I'll see you then. Bye."  
  
"How the hell am I going to tell him?" Abby muttered as she searched for her shoes.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Hey." Luka was smiling as he opened the door, his features turning serious when he saw Abby's drawn face. He could tell she had been crying, dry tear tracks were evident on her pale cheeks. "What's going on Abby, are you okay?"  
  
Abby found herself frozen, unable to utter a sound. She finally decided that there was no beating it around the bush, "Luka, I'm pregnant."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Here you go."  
  
"Thanks." Abby took the steaming mug of lemon tea Luka handed her. He sank down into the couch beside her. "Have you called Kisangani to leave a message for Carter?" Luka put a comforting hand on her neck.  
  
"Yes, I left a message at the headquarters, but I didn't tell them what it was about. I don't even know if he will call me."  
  
Luka scratched his chin. "Well, if he is out in the field on a vaccine run, he won't be near a phone for a few days at least. Have you thought of what you will tell him?"  
  
Abby sighed, "I have no idea. I didn't even know how to tell you." She looked up at Luka, her bloodshot eyes pleading with him. "I'm so sorry Luka."  
  
He was taken aback, "Abby what are you sorry for? This isn't your fault, it's nobody's fault. I'll be here for you, as much as you want me to be." He wrapped her in a warm embrace and kissed her forehead. "No matter what happens Abby, you know I'll be here for you. And if you need to take a step back and re-evaluate, I understand."  
  
Abby was touched by his kindness. "Thank you Luka, but Carter and I are not getting back together, it's just finding a way to deal with this situation like adults. I'm not sure how much he would want to be involved. I mean, what if he wants nothing to do with me or the baby??" Abby knew that it was a very small chance that Carter would boycott her or the baby, but she still couldn't suppress a tremor of fear at that thought.  
  
"Abby, you know that Carter wouldn't do that. He still cares for you believe it or not and he wouldn't leave you high and dry with a child."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry, it's just a worry."  
  
Luka rubbed her hand in his, "Do you want to stay the night? I'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed. I can also drive you home if you like."  
  
"Oh no Luka, I don't want to be a bother." She looked at her watch, "I can still catch the 11:45 EL trip back to my neighbourhood."  
  
"It's really no bother Abby, I don't mind. You don't have a shift tomorrow, why don't you just stay the night? My bedroom is warm and I just changed the sheets like two hours ago. But my offer still stands to take you home."  
  
Abby frowned, "Why don't I just sleep on the couch then? I don't mind."  
  
"Forget it Abby, I'm sleeping on the couch."  
  
He stood up, bringing Abby with him. To make his point, Luka dragged her to his bedroom, plopped her down on the bed and grabbed his sleeping bag from the cupboard. He paused in the doorway, "Have a good sleep. If you need anything, I'll just be in the living room."  
  
Before Abby could answer, he left closing the door behind him. Sitting on his bed, Abby couldn't help but remember all the good times the two of them had spent on this bed.. together. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
The ringing of the telephone jarred Abby from a deep sleep four days later. Groggily, she fumbled for the receiver in the dark, knocking over a glass of water that was sitting on the night table. "Shit," she muttered, and finally picked up the phone ceasing it's harsh ringing.  
  
"Hello?" Abby wearily sat up in bed and flicked on the beside lamp, squinting at the sudden brightness in the room.  
  
"Abby, it's Carter. Sorry to phone at this time of night, but this was the only chance I'll have to use a phone in a week. I got your message."  
  
Abby's stomach twisted into a thousand knots. This was it, she had to tell him. "Hey Carter. I, uh, I'm sorry I called you in Africa; I know time is of the essence but this is important." She paused, "How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm fine Abby. What is so important? Are you okay?"  
  
His tone was neither one of anger nor kindness and Abby was uncertain as to how he would take the news. Gathering up all of her resolve Abby continued, "I'm fine. Actually you could say I'm either more than or less than fine. I'm pregnant."  
  
She stopped talking, trying to gauge his reaction over the phone. For a minute or two, he did not reply. Abby's heart was thumping so loudly that she was certain Carter could hear it over the phone. "Listen, I know you didn't ask for this and I don't expect anything from you. I just thought you should know."  
  
"Abby you cannot tell me something like this and then say you don't expect anything from me. I'm going to be in this child's life and be his or her father. What do you want from me now? Do you need me to come back to Chicago?"  
  
"No, I'm managing okay. I've got a lot of support here; I know I will be fine. But when this child is born, we are going to have to work something out. He or she cannot be tossed back and forth between us without any stability. We are going to have to make a plan and stick by it. The two of us Carter need to have an understanding of where we are both at right now, because clearly this is a very complicated situation."  
  
"I have to tell you first off Abby, that I never meant to hurt you with that letter. I just don't think it is going to work between us and we both deserve better than a relationship held together simply because we have a child. The environment would not be good."  
  
Tears welled in Abby's eyes, "I know that Carter. We aren't meant to "be" together but I think we can make this situation work, for the sake of the child. We have to be friends."  
  
"Friends is exactly what I want Abby. I still care for you, but on a purely friends basis. It was just too complicated, as a couple we aren't compatible like that." He took a deep, shuddering breath, "Abby, I have to tell you. I've met someone."  
  
Abby sat stunned for a few seconds. "Really? I, uh, I'm happy for you Carter."  
  
"I know it is soon, but she, Kem, and I are really hitting it off. I don't know where it will go, but you should know about her."  
  
Abby sighed, "Thank you for telling me Carter. It is better if there are no secrets."  
  
"Yeah, but still. I'm sorry."  
  
"Its okay, really. I am, well, sort of seeing someone also."  
  
Carter stayed silent.  
  
"It's uh, Luka. He and I have had somewhat of reconciliation. Nothing serious has happened, but its," she paused, unsure of what to say next. "Its good."  
  
"Then I'm happy for you as well Abby. Listen, I have to go. We are delivering a case of vaccines to Matenda and we are leaving tonight. But I will talk to you when I get back. It may not be for another few months but I'll call and check up on you. I'll be back before the birth, I promise."  
  
"Okay, goodnight Carter. Oh, Carter wait. Please, be careful."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
The sun was just rising as Abby slowly awoke, her senses tempted by the rich aroma of cooking eggs and bacon filling apartment. Gingerly she sat up in bed, her muscles aching from the previous night's activities, and leaned her head back against the headrest. Sniffing the air appreciatively, Abby begged with her body not to initiate the daily morning routine. A few seconds later, she knew that she wouldn't be that lucky.  
  
"Crap," she muttered as the familiar rumbling and sinking feeling started in her stomach. Groaning, she pushed back the duvet and pulled a t-shirt over her head and sprinted off to the bathroom. She slammed the door and got to the toilet just in time before her lungs heaved and threw up everything she had had to eat for dinner.  
  
"Yuck," she muttered, "This is getting so old." Abby was now three and a half months pregnant and every morning for the past three she had been throwing up. But of course it wasn't just confined to the morning hours. Abby threw up in the evening, in the afternoon and occasionally when she looked at or smelt food. When she wasn't sick to her stomach, Abby was hungry. She ate anything and everything that didn't have red meat in it. She couldn't stand the sight or taste of hamburger, no matter how much she wanted to eat it.  
  
After she had finished, Abby lay down on the bathroom floor, the cool tiles soothing her flaming face. She took long and slow breaths into her lungs and her stomach gradually settled.  
  
There was a knocking at the bathroom door, "Abby? Are you okay?" Luka stood outside the closed door. He had seen heard her slam the bathroom door and the toilet flushing several times. In the last week that Abby and him had been waking up in the same apartment, it was the same thing. A mad dash to the bathroom and the sounds of her throwing up; followed by fifteen minutes of silence where she was simply laying on the bathroom floor in a fetal position.  
  
A muffled, "Yeah, I'll be out in minute" convinced him she was indeed on the floor. He opened the door and upon seeing her, filled a glass with water from the tap and dampened a washcloth. "Here, sit up slowly." He helped Abby uncurl and sat her up against the back of the bathtub. He pressed the cool washcloth against her flushed forehead and offered her the water. She took a small appreciative sip and thanked him.  
  
"Can you stand?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so." With Luka's arm on her elbow Abby was able to get her feet steadily on the ground and allowed him to lead her back to his bedroom.  
  
"Here, get back into bed until your stomach settles completely." He rearranged the pillow behind her head and brought the duvet back up to her chest. "I'll make some tea." As he disappeared out of the bedroom, Abby couldn't help but wonder about the compassionate and gentle treatment Luka had been giving her since they started sleeping together at either his or her apartment. She was amazed that he hadn't been too rattled with her being pregnant with another man's baby and didn't seem to upset by the fact that she "prayed to the porcelain" every morning.  
  
A few minutes later he reappeared with two mugs of steaming chamomile tea and some soda crackers. "This may help a little. You need to rehydrate." He handed her a mug and sat down on the bed beside her.  
  
"Thank you Luka, I don't even know to thank you for all you have done for me." Abby's eyes misted a little, another symptom of her pregnancy. She had been crying over the most ridiculous things lately. In fact, yesterday she cried when the egg she took out of the fridge dropped out of her hand and splattered on the floor.  
  
Luka kissed her softly on the lips, "Don't mention it."  
  
They spent the remainder of the morning in bed before both of their shifts started at noon. They went to work together and when the day was done, ended up back at Luka's apartment. Everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was growing, Abby and Carter had remained on friendly terms and the baby was doing very well. Life seemed to be working out very well and Abby was happier than she had been in a long time.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
A MONTH AND A HALF LATER. FIVE MONTHS INTO THE PREGNANCY  
  
"Have a good trip." Abby pressed herself up against Luka as he was heading out the door, catching his lips in her own for a long passionate kiss. She ran her fingers through his short, dark hair and was completely swallowed in his embrace. They pulled apart as the sound of the taxi honking it's horn outside interrupted their farewell kiss.  
  
"I will, you take care of your mommy little one," Luka placed his hand on Abby's growing belly and gave her one last kiss. "I'll see you in six days."  
  
"Bye," Abby reluctantly let go of his hand and gave him one last smile as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Luka was going off to an Emergency Medicine conference in New York. He wasn't due back for six days, and Abby had the whole apartment to herself. She had finished the rent on her own apartment only two weeks earlier and moved in with Luka.  
  
She went to the window and waved to Luka as he was getting into the yellow taxi that would take him to the airport. He waved back and blew her a kiss before sliding into the backseat and shutting the door. The taxi took off into the twilight.  
  
"Well, there's nothing left for me to do than go to bed." Abby puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes, putting the last of the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and turned out the kitchen light. She made her way to the bedroom and pulled off her clothes. Slipping into her robe, she went to the bathroom and started filling the tub with warm water. She poured in some peaches and cream bath bubbles and lit a few candles. Once the tub was filled, she turned off the light and sank into the sweet, fragrant bubbles allowing the heat to penetrate her tired muscles.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
2:57am  
  
The bedroom was quiet except for the gentle snores of Abby Lockhart as she peacefully slept underneath the warm, goose-down duvet. The night was calm and dark, the outside frozen from the bitter Chicago temperatures.  
  
Suddenly, and without warning, Abby awoke with a start. Her breathing became laboured as she tried to catch her breath and pinpoint what it was that had awoken her from such a deep sleep. She flipped on the bedside lamp and scanned the room almost in a panic. She didn't remember having any nightmares, yet her heart was pounding ferociously as if she had just seen a ghost.  
  
A coil of terror slammed into Abby's stomach as she realized she was sitting in a puddle of warm liquid. Frantically she pulled back the sheet and expected to see a pool of red blood, but she was even more terrified from what she saw.  
  
Her nightgown and sheets were drenched in a clear, warm liquid, which was rapidly cooling in the chilly February night. "Oh god," Abby moaned as she realized what had just happened. Without hesitation she grabbed the phone laying on the night table and dialled 911.  
  
"911 Emergency. My name is Rosa, what is your emergency?"  
  
Abby fought to make a sound, she felt as if the panic had paralysed her vocal cords. Taking several deep breaths, she was able to communicate with the ambulance dispatcher, "My name is Abby. I'm five months pregnant and I just woke up sitting in a pool of amniotic fluid. I need an ambulance." She voice was quivering as she tried not to cry.  
  
The dispatcher remained calm and tried to coax more information out of the petrified woman. "Ok Abby, how long ago did you notice your water broke?"  
  
"Um, I just woke up a minute ago. I don't know exactly when it broke. Oh god, please make them hurry. Its too early for this to happen."  
  
"They are on their way, just stay on the line with me ok? Have you had any contractions?"  
  
"No. Not yet." Tears were slowly making their way down Abby's face. "I can't feel anything, I just know that the water broke."  
  
"Ok Abby, the paramedics are there. Can you buzz them in? Are you near the intercom?"  
  
"Yes, I can let them in." She crawled into the hallway and unlocked the front door, she pressed the buzzer and let them in. She lay on the leather couch and waited for them to get upstairs. Clutching the blanket to her chest she fought to stay in control of her emotions. "Oh god, I wish Luka were here." Sobs were building up as she heard the paramedics get out of the elevator and clamour down the hallway. The paused and knocked on the open door before entering the dark apartment, "Paramedics."  
  
Abby tried to sit up on the couch, "Over here." The medics quickly rushed to her side and turned on the light. "Ok ma'me, we are just going to check your vitals and get you to a hospital. Just hang on with us ok?"  
  
"Okay," Abby whispered, "can you call ahead to County General and tell Dr. Susan Lewis we are coming in. I'm a nurse there and know she is working tonight."  
  
"Absolutely." The older paramedic nodded to the younger one who got on his radio and informed County that Abby Lockhart was coming in a requested to see Dr. Lewis upon her arrival.  
  
A few minutes later they had Abby loaded up onto a stretcher and wrapped in blankets to protect her from the chill. As they were wheeling her down the hallway, a few curious neighbours looked on. Abby shut her eyes to their stares and did not open them until they were in the ambulance. She was dimly aware of the sirens as they rushed her to the emergency room and to a fate unknown. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Four hours after the medics had first brought Abby into the emergency room, she was laying flat on her back in the OB ward. She was hooked up to various forms of medical equipment: heart monitors, pulse OX cables, a fetal monitor and numerous IV's. An ultrasound technician was scheduled to come in and perform a scan to determine just how much of the amniotic fluid was lost when Abby's membranes had ruptured earlier that morning.  
  
A blonde nurse poked her head around the curtain isolating Abby from the other patient in her semi-private room. "Miss Lockhart? Dr. Coburn wants me to check your cervix, to see if you have dilated at all since you were admitted.  
  
Mutely, Abby nodded her head and allowed the nurse to pull back the bed sheet. She cringed at the nurse's fingers as she probed her cervix, a tear making its way down her cheek. This was happening way too early. If she went into labour, there was a ninety-nine percent mortality rate for infants born before 22 weeks. She would lose her baby.  
  
The nurse withdrew her hand and pulled the covers back over Abby's form. "Well, I see no dilation at all." She smiled slightly at Abby, "The ultrasound tech will be here in about half an hour and we will have a better idea as to what we are dealing with. Is there anything you need? Breakfast perhaps?"  
  
"No thank you. I'm not hungry."  
  
The nurse nodded and patted Abby on the knee. "Chelsea has called Dr. Kovac in New York and he will be flying in on the four o'clock flight from Manhattan. It was the first plane he could get on. I guess lots of people are travelling right now."  
  
"Yeah." Abby mumbled and closed her eyes. "Thank you."  
  
"No problem." The nurse left, leaving Abby alone.  
  
Slowly tears fell down Abby's pale face. She didn't need an ultrasound tech to tell her what she already knew. Having been an OB nurse for years herself, Abby knew that the amount of fluid she lost was significant enough that the membranes had no chance of resealing. She was either going to develop an infection or go into labour in the next twelve hours.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Forty-five minutes later the tech and Dr. Coburn confirmed the worst. The membranes had fully ruptured and the baby was moving lower in the uterus. There was little or no chance of them resealing to the extent needed for Abby to carry the child for the next four months until it was full term. Still, she and Dr. Coburn had decided to give the baby the best shot possible, however dismal the outcome appeared to be.  
  
Abby was to be bedridden and put on drugs to attempt to stop any premature labour. She was also put on a preventive course of antibiotics because of the huge risk of infection to the baby or herself. She was admitted to the hospital and her only views into the outside world were a window looking into the city and a small 10" TV above her bed.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Much later that afternoon, a nurse approached the sleeping Abby in her private room. She had been moved in there away from labouring, full term mothers immediately after they had gotten the heart breaking news. Abby had been so distraught that they sedated her to keep her calm. Hesitantly, the nurse gently inserted a thermometer into Abby's ear. They had been monitoring her temperature constantly to make sure they had early detection of any infections.  
  
The nurse cringed as the thermometer beeped, she didn't want Abby to wake up. She sighed in relief as she noted Abby's temperature at 98.7 degrees, a very normal reading. Although Abby hadn't worked in OB for over three years, most of the nursing staff knew and liked her. They were all pulling for her and the baby, yet they knew the chances of the infant's survival were next to none.  
  
As the nurse wrote down her vitals, Abby stirred in the bed. She squinted up at the figure beside her bed and upon recognizing her old friend from her OB days Abby opened her eyes fully. "Anita? What is going on?"  
  
Anita pulled up the chair beside Abby's bed and sat down. "Hey girl. I'm just checking your vitals. When membranes rupture, we have to check your temperature once an hour to catch any developing infection."  
  
Abby nodded, she knew that. She felt like she had sandpaper in her throat as she tried to speak. "Was there any fever?" She managed to squeak out.  
  
"No honey, there is no evidence of any infection right now. All your vitals are normal." She placed her hand supportively on Abby's forearm. "We are all pulling for you up here. Everyone wants to see this little baby born safe and sound in about four months from now."  
  
"Anita. You know there is literally no chance of that happening." Abby covered her eyes with her hand, "Once the membranes are gone, all that is left is infection and extremely premature labour."  
  
Anita was at a loss for words, knowing Abby was right but she struggled to find something encouraging to say. "Well, if we can keep everything going okay, maybe there is some hope for a membrane reseal. You would have to stay in bed, but in three or four months we can deliver this baby as happy and healthy as a clam."  
  
Abby knew her friend was just trying to comfort her. "Let's hope then." Suddenly she remembered about Luka, "Anita. Do you know when Luka is going to be here?" She knew that she had been told what flight he was on but for some reason she just couldn't remember. In fact, she didn't even know what time it was right now.  
  
"He was supposed to be on the four o'clock but apparently in New York it is snowing very heavily and all flights have been delayed a few hours. It is just four o'clock now and I'll keep an eye on the weather reports over there and let you know when I know he is coming in." Anita wanted to stay but she had five other patients on her service that needed to be seen. "Listen hon, I have to go check on some other patients but I'll check back in with you before my shift ends at seven. I'm pulling for you honey, everyone is. Just stay positive."  
  
"Thank you Anita." Abby smiled at her friend as she left the room. Sighing, she looked out the window beside her bed at the darkening February sky. Snow had begun to fall lightly and it was a gorgeous evening. But inside Abby did not feel the peacefulness she saw outside. A small ball of panic was swimming deep within her belly. It was a feeling of remote terror, a hopeless desperation that only a mother could feel when she is trying to protect her baby from any harm. Absently, Abby placed a quivering hand on her belly. "I'm so sorry sweetheart." She closed her eyes and drifted into a troubled sleep. A sleep where images of her child as a baby, a toddler, a teenager and as a mother filled her mind. Intense sadness enveloped Abby from all sides, hitting her in the stomach, the head and landing heavily on her heart.  
  
* * * * `* * * * * * * *  
  
Close to 11pm that night, Abby's hospital room was very dark as the only light provided was from the lighting in the hallway outside her room. All that could be heard was the beeping of the EKG and fetal monitors and her own shallow breathing. Silently, a dark figure slipped into the room and stood in the doorway, staring sadly at the figure sleeping in the bed. He slipped off his warm, black gloves and loosened the tie around his as he made his way towards the sleeping woman, sitting down in the chair beside her bed.  
  
Softly, he brought his large, warm hand gently up to Abby's face and stroked her cheek tenderly. As he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her face, he took a quick glance at the monitors, noting that both mother and baby's hearts were beating strongly. Wrapping his fingers in hers, the man caressed the palm of her hand and leaned forward in his chair.  
  
As he was watching her, Abby's eyes flickered open searching the in the darkness for something familiar. She had sensed a presence in the room and could smell something familiar. It was Luka's cologne.  
  
"Luka?" Abby whispered, not quite sure if she was dreaming or not. She could feel his hand in hers and turned her head toward his body. "Are you there?"  
  
Luka squeezed her hand in response. "I'm right here Abby." He turned on the soft light beside her bed. His heart ached as he saw her in the light; it was evident that she had been crying. Freshly dried tear tracks stained her face and her eyes were red and swollen where she had been wiping them. "I just got in, it is a real mess out there. My flight was delayed for several hours and traffic here in Chicago was all backed up because of the snow."  
  
Abby nodded, "Oh."  
  
Luka looked down at her hand entwined in his then back up at her face, "How are you doing? I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when this all happened."  
  
"Its okay, I've been sleeping most of the day. Dr. Coburn gave me some Ativan and I've been on huge doses of antibiotics. Apparently so far I haven't had a fever or dilated at all."  
  
Luka nodded, "I know. I spoke with the charge nurse before I came in here." He stopped, unsure of what to say next.  
  
"Luka, I can't lose this baby." Abby pleaded with him silently, desperately trying not to fall into a sobbing heap. She didn't want Luka to see her cry.  
  
"I know, Abby. I'm so sorry." He could see her struggling, fighting not to let herself lose control. "Abby its okay. Come here." He leaned forward, trying to pull her into his arms. She resisted, trying to pull away and not lose herself. She knew that she was only seconds away from tears and any comfort he showed would only throw her over the point of no return. Rolling over on her side, she put her back to him and curled up, trying to make herself untouchable.  
  
Luka didn't give up. "Abby, its okay." He gently pulled on her shoulders until she turned over and was facing him again. She sat up and he pulled her to his body and wrapped his arms around her shaking form. "It's okay," he soothed, whispering in her ear, "just let it out. You are safe with me."  
  
That was all the encouragement Abby needed to let loose. Fierce sobs started deep within her belly and travelled up, emitting from her body in loud gasps. She clung to Luka for dear life as the tears bubbled up and over, threatening to drown her in their intensity. "Oh, god," she cried, "this can't happen." She was grabbing at Luka's shirt as the extreme emotional torture made her heart feel as if it was breaking in two.  
  
Not letting go of her, Luka got up and climbed onto the bed with her, leaning his back against the pillows, pulling her into his lap like a child. She curled up against him and tucked her head underneath his chin. Through her tears, she was trying to pull herself even closer to his warm, comforting body. Luka was rubbing her back in circles, attempting to calm her as he whispered softly in her ear.  
  
Gradually, Abby's sobs quieted and all that could be heard in the room was her occasional gasps for air as her body began to collapse in both physical and emotional exhaustion. Luka hadn't moved but continued to comfort her the best he could with his voice and hand on her back. He could feel her body relaxing as exhaustion won over and her breathing slowly returned to normal.  
  
A nurse passing by in the hallway had heard Abby's sobs and paused to look in the doorway. She had seen Dr. Kovac pull the weeping Abby into his lap as he lay on the bed with her. Worried that she may become so worked up she would do into labour, the nurse went to grab another dose of tranquilizers. When she returned, Abby had calmed down significantly and was still on Luka's lap, her head tucked underneath his chin. He was rubbing her back comfortingly and the nurse could see that Abby's eyes were growing heavy and slowly closing. Quietly she entered the room and approached the bed. "Dr. Kovac? Dr. Coburn has a standing order for sedatives for Miss Lockhart. I'm going to administer another dose, help calm her down a little.  
  
Luka nodded his head at the nurse's request. "Let me give it to her when she is ready. I don't want to disturb her right now." He could tell that Abby was still awake but didn't really comprehend what was going on around her. She needed to pull herself back together and he wasn't about to let anyone disturb her right now, especially since she seemed to be calming.  
  
The nurse pondered this for a second. Deciding that would be okay, after all he was a doctor, she left the syringe on the bedside table with the vial of tranquilizer.  
  
Luka thanked her and she left, pulling the curtain around the bed so they would have a little privacy.  
  
After a few minutes, Luka slowly extracted himself from underneath Abby. She had fallen into a light sleep but her eyes opened as he moved from the bed. She moaned in protest, "No Luka, don't go." She tried to grab his hand and pull him back on the bed.  
  
He gently freed his hand from hers. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here in the chair. But you need to get some sleep." He gently manoeuvred her so she was lying back down on the bed and untangled her legs from the sheets. He pulled the white hospital sheet back over her body as well as the blanket. Frowning at the thin blue blanket, he opened the large cupboard beside the bed and pulled out a thick, warmer, wool blanket. He carefully spread the blanket over Abby, tucking it in along the sides of the bed.  
  
He leaned up and kissed her forehead. "Abby? The nurse brought some Ativan for you to have and it will help you sleep. I'm just going to give it to you now okay?"  
  
At her nearly unnoticeable nod, he drew out a dose of the drug from the vial and with latex gloved hands, administered the liquid into Abby's IV port. He withdrew the needle and discarded it in the bio box along with his gloves. "There you go." He brushed his hand along the side of Abby's face and leaned back into the chair. He smiled reassuringly at her as she watched him, her eyes drifting closed as the drugs quickly took affect. Minutes later she was sound asleep.  
  
A nurse came in an offered him a cot, which he quickly accepted. He was very tired after his day of travelling and from the emotional stress since he had found out that morning that Abby had been taken to the hospital. Drawing his own blanket up to his ears, Luka fell into a deep sleep, his hand still entwined in Abby's as they slept. 


	8. Chpater 8

Chapter 8  
  
The room was eerily quiet and was cast with shadows as Abby awoke from a drug-induced stupor much later that night. She felt the wool blanket beneath her fingers and suddenly remembered that Luka had been there before she had fallen asleep. Her lungs ached from her hysterical crying and her face was puffy, a reminder of her breakdown that evening. Moving her head on the pillow, she saw that Luka had stayed and was sound asleep on the cot beside her.  
  
She couldn't help but watch him as he slept. His face looked so peaceful and relaxed and he was snoring lightly. She smiled when she saw his hand was resting beside hers on the bed, he had obviously been holding her hand.  
  
Abby had been so upset when he arrived that she barely remembered their encounter. She did remember however that he had been very sweet and held her while she cried and told the nurse he would give her tranquilizers when she was calmed down. She remembered how gentle he had been administering the drugs and how he tucked her in like a child with the wool blanket he found in the cupboard.  
  
Her eyes moved to the monitors above her bed. The baby's heart was still beating normally and regularly. Abby didn't feel cold or sick, which would indicate a fever and infection.  
  
Abby closed her eyes and tried to get back to sleep. She listened to Luka's breathing and the steady beep of the monitors, their rhythmic noise lulling her to sleep. Right before she was about to drop off into dreamland, a small but piercing pain kicked Abby in her lower back. It spread around to the front of her belly then as quickly as it came, disappeared.  
  
The episode had only lasted a few seconds and Abby thought maybe she had dreamed it. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to the relaxed state she had been in only seconds earlier. But again, a prick of pain darted throughout her back and around her midsection. This time, it was more painful.  
  
"Ouch," Abby breathed, "oh shit." She concentrated of deepening her breaths, allowing the pain to pass. Once it was gone, Abby felt sick to her stomach. She knew what that little pain was. Reaching her hand over to Luka's, she gripped it softly.  
  
"Luka?" Abby wiggled her fingers in his, trying to wake him up but to no avail. "Luka." She said more firmly this time as another pain fluttered along her tummy.  
  
He mumbled in his sleep and rubbed his eye before his snores became deep and regular again.  
  
Abby was getting desperate; she squeezed his hand as pain gripped her belly. "Luka!!!"  
  
With that, he shot up from the cot, knocking over a glass of water on the night table in the process. Blinking his eyes to clear them he searched around the room, trying to remember where he was. His eyes landed on Abby in the hospital bed and a stab of fear landed on his heart when he saw she was holding her belly, her eyes squeezed tight and her breathing deep.  
  
"Abby. What's wrong?" He flicked on the light above the bed and as an instinct his hand went to her wrist, checking her pulse.  
  
She didn't say anything for a second took a few deep breaths and opened her eyes. "I'm having contractions Luka. Can you get the nurse?" Her voice was calm but in her tear-filled eyes, Luka could see fear, raw fear.  
  
"Are you sure Abby?" He knew it was a stupid question when she groaned out loud and grabbed at her belly again. His mind began to race, "Ok Abby. Just breathe." He gripped her hand, trying to coach her through the contraction. "Ok listen to my voice. I'm going to count to ten: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten. Ok, take two big, long deep breaths. There you go, in and out. In and out."  
  
Abby did what he said and in a few seconds, the pain subsided. Her breathing returned to normal but tears were falling down her face. "Luka, its too soon. Its way too soon." Panic was again filling her body, "I can't do this Luka. I'm not ready. They have got to stop this, the baby can't survive this early."  
  
Luka knew that she spoke the truth but tried to calm her anyway. "Its okay Abby. You may just be experiencing false labour. The amount of stress you have been under in the last few weeks can sometimes bring about false labour. I'll get the doctor anyway."  
  
Abby rolled her eyes, "Luka. My water broke and this isn't a drill. Ow," Abby moaned as another contraction hit her squarely in the stomach.  
  
"Ok Abby, hang on. I'll be back in a second." Luka pushed out into the hallway, searching for a nurse. He knew that there was probably no turning back from this point now, especially since her contractions were so close together. He saw a woman in purple scrubs at the vending machines, inserting money for a soda. He rushed over, "Excuse me Miss, Abby Lockhart is going into labour."  
  
The nurse looked him up and down. He had bed head and his eyes were wild. She wondered why he looked so familiar. It suddenly hit her; he was a physician down in the ER, not some loony tune. "Who? What room is she in?"  
  
"Abby Lockhart, room 1367. She is the woman brought in yesterday when her membranes ruptured; she is only twenty weeks along.  
  
"Oh right. I'll page the doctor on call right away, how are her vitals?" The nurse picked up the phone at the nurse's station and dialled the doctor's pager. "They seem to be good right now, I'm going back to her room." Luka walked away from the desk and quickly returned to the room. As he was opening the door he could hear the doctor being paged over the intercom to room 1367 stat.  
  
Abby was hunched forward, her breathing quick and laboured. "Oh god Luka, this is it. I have to push!"  
  
Luka rushed over to the bed, "Oh no! Don't push yet Abby, the doctor isn't here yet!" Luka was uncharacteristically frantic.  
  
"YOU'RE A DOCTOR!" Abby practically screamed at him and then continued to moan as the contraction intensified.  
  
"Right, right." Luka could tell from Abby's desire to push that she was probably completely dilated and ready to deliver. He went into doctor mode, pulling a pair of gloves on. "Abby, is it ok if I have a look?" He moved to the foot of the bed and pulled the leg stirrups out.  
  
"Yes," Abby hissed as the contraction subsided.  
  
Luka pushed the blanket up from the foot of the bed and pulled Abby's gown up. "Whoa!" He said, surprise etching his every feature. The baby's head was crowning, there was no turning back now.  
  
Quickly and with precision, Luka draped Abby's belly and with surgical draping and rested her feet on the stirrups. Just then the nurse flung open the door and was floored with the scene in front of her. "Dr. Kovac! What do you think you are doing? You are not the OBGYN on call and you have no right..."  
  
Luka cut her off, "She is crowning. So either you set me up for this delivery or get out!"  
  
The nurse went to the foot of the bed and seeing that the baby was indeed crowning, rushed to get the delivery tray and page the NICU.  
  
Luka returned his attention to Abby. "Ok Abby, on the next contraction I want you to put your chin down on your chest and push like you are going to the bathroom. Ok?"  
  
Abby was shaking her head on the pillow. "No. It's too soon, this can't happen now. Luka, you have to stop it!!"  
  
He felt as if his heart were breaking in two at her pleas. "I'm so sorry sweetie, but the baby is coming. There is nothing we can do. Now come on, I see another contraction coming on the monitor, you have to push on this one ok?"  
  
Abby sobbed as the contraction squeezed her stomach. She dropped her chin to her chest and pushed with all her might. Sweat and tears were staining her face as she struggled and she was unable to control the sob of pure sorrow from ripping out of her mouth. She counted to ten then relaxed.  
  
"Good Abby, really good. The head is almost out." Luka had the baby's head in his hands, it was no bigger than a small tennis ball. "I need you to give me one more push ok? Breath in, and go!"  
  
Abby again struggled to push the baby out, her back and neck aching in protest. She gasped in a huge breath as she felt the tiny baby slip from her body and land in Luka's hands.  
  
"Ok Abby, good job," Luka praised as he suctioned the fluid out of the baby's mouth. "You have a son Abby."  
  
He held the baby boy up for her to see before handing him to the nurse. At that moment the NICU team arrived and began tending to the premature baby. Luka turned to Abby and saw that her face was covered in fresh tears.  
  
"How is he Luka?" She was able to choke out, "Is he alive?" She wiped at her face frantically, trying to search his eyes for answers.  
  
Luka shook his head, "He is alive Abby, but he is very, very tiny. He fit in the palm of my hand. The NICU team is going to help him now and the OBGYN is going to be here any second to take care of you." Luka pulled off his blood splattered gown and gloves.  
  
The OBGYN rushed in the room at that second and began tending to Abby as Luka went to her side.  
  
"Luka will you go with him to the NICU?" Abby was gripping his hand tightly and tears kept rushing down her face.  
  
He pulled a tissue from the box beside her bed and wiped her face dry, "I want to stay with you Abby."  
  
"No Luka, please go with him." Abby was pleading with him, "Please?"  
  
"Alright Abby." He could see that she really wanted him to join her son. Looking over at the small baby, being worked on by so many different people Luka was suddenly filled with a deep grief. He knew that Abby was going to lose her only child and it was ripping him apart inside. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, hoping that he could help her through the difficult days ahead. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Luka entered the NICU a few minutes later, searching for Abby's son. He spotted him easily in the middle of numerous doctors and nurses, all poking and prodding the small child. The label on the crib read, "Baby Boy Carter, 20 weeks." Hesitantly, Luka approached the controlled chaos and peered into the crib.  
  
There lay the smallest baby Luka had ever seen. His hand was no bigger than Luka's thumb and his body was smaller than a football. Luka had to look away and gather himself for a minute, he was a doctor, but it all became so real suddenly. This tiny baby was alive but no one in the room spoke the truth. It was all hanging over their heads like a black cloud, but it was left unspoken. This baby had no chance of survival.  
  
The doctor turned towards Luka, "Dr. Kovac, as you can tell, this baby is in grave condition. His lungs are not mature enough to allow him to breath on his own, and we are going to have to make some tough decisions. Does Miss Lockhart want us to intubate the child? If we put him on the ventilator, we will never get him off of it. If we don't intubate, he will die in a matter of minutes." The doctor's voice was solemn and he turned to look sadly at the baby, "Has his mother talked to you about his options?"  
  
Luka was surprised at the tears gathering in his eyes. Embarrassed, he brushed them away and regarded the doctor bravely, "I know Abby won't want him to suffer but can you please do everything you can to keep him alive so she can see him and say goodbye?"  
  
The doctor nodded, "We will intubate him now and let Abby decide the next step." The doctor turned back to the baby. "Debbie, please hand me that laryngoscope."  
  
Luka left the room as they intubated Abby's son. He staggered over to the water fountain and splash cool water on his face. His heart was breaking for Abby and even for Carter. Luka didn't know the exact details of how their romance had ended but he knew the pain first-hand of losing a child and he did not wish that on anyone.  
  
The doctor re-emerged from the NICU. "We've got him intubated and the ventilators are breathing for him. How about we go talk to his mother?" The doctor, Dr. Ambrosia, pushed the button on the elevator. When the doors opened he motioned for Luka to join him.  
  
Luka gathered himself and followed the young doctor. He knew how hard Abby was going to take this and he dreaded being there when she found out. But, he could not bear to have her hear this alone.  
  
* * *  
  
"Abby, are you going to be okay?" Luka was sitting next to her on the hospital bed, absently running his fingers along her arm comfortingly. She wiped away a few lingering tears and sniffed, "I don't know Luka. I can't even think right now. These last few days have been a complete blur."  
  
"I know. Stupid question." Luka moved his hand from her arm to her back and he leaned over and kissed her softly. "Do you want me to call Carter?"  
  
At his words Abby burst into a fresh wave of tears, "Oh my god Luka. What am I going to say to him?" She buried her face in her hands and tried to regain her composure. "He is going to be so upset! What am I going to tell him?" She turned to Luka looking right into his eyes, as if they held the answer.  
  
"I'll talk to him Abby. You just stay in bed. I know you and Carter have had your differences but I know he won't be mad, just upset at the loss. Just relax and I'll go phone him. If you are feeling up to it later, you can give him a call ok?"  
  
Abby wiped her face dry, "Thank you Luka."  
  
He smiled at her, "Its okay. I'll be right back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
25 minutes later  
  
Luka returned to Abby's room after talking with Carter in the Congo. As he suspected, he was very upset with the news of his son's premature delivery. He wanted to know if Abby was ok and if she wanted him to return. Luka told him that they didn't expect the baby to live any longer than a few hours so it would be pointless for him to fly out tonight. He decided he would come back only if Abby wanted him to. He didn't want to add anymore to her already huge stress load.  
  
"Abby?" Luka whispered softly. She was lying in her bed, her eyes closed.  
  
At his voice, Abby's eyes drifted open and she focused on him as he entered the room. "Hey, did you get a hold of Carter?"  
  
"Yeah, he wants to know if you want him to come back or would that only complicate things?"  
  
"I'm going to call him soon Luka. I just want to see my baby."  
  
Luka shifted nervously and sat down in the chair beside her bed, taking her hand. "Abby, Dr. Ambrosia just told me that the baby is not oxygenating well, even on the ventilators. He doesn't think it will be long before," Luka's voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. "He doesn't think it will be long before the baby stops breathing. And he wants to know if you wish to have your son on the ventilators any longer."  
  
Abby bit back a sob, "No. Tell them to take him off, there is nothing to hold on to anymore."  
  
Luka nodded, "That is a very brave and right decision Abby. I'll tell them to take him off but bring him here for you to say goodbye to." Luka couldn't help the tear that rolled down his cheek. He tried to brush it off before Abby noticed, but to no avail.  
  
"Its okay Luka, you can cry you know." Abby leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. Even though it wasn't his baby, Abby knew Luka was really looking forward to its birth and to see her being a mother. She also knew he was somewhat reliving the pain of losing his own children years earlier. She felt his shoulders shake and he pulled out of her embrace, tears evident on his handsome face.  
  
"I'm so sorry Abby. This isn't fair." He leaned in and kissed her, "I love you."  
  
Abby was shocked by his words. That was the first time he had ever said that to her and she could tell by the look on his face that he meant it. At that moment, she realized she felt the same way. Softly she replied, "I love you too."  
  
They embraced again before Luka stood and started to leave the room. "I'll go get your son Abby." 


	10. Chapter 10

Three Years Later  
  
"Abby! Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Yep, hang on a second Luka." Abby walked around in the upstairs bedroom of her and Luka's new home. Rearranging the rocking chair so it was facing the window, Abby took one last look around the freshly painted nursery and waddled out into the hallway. She gripped the railing of the stairs as she descended, a smile growing on her face when she saw Luka standing at the front door, a dozen yellow sunflowers in his hand.  
  
"Are those for Robbie? They are beautiful."  
  
"Yeah they are. But they aren't as beautiful as you."  
  
Abby chuckled, "I don't know Luka. Being eight and a half months pregnant I don't exactly feel beautiful. I feel like a whale."  
  
Luka kissed her forehead. "You are glowing. Now come on, lets go visit Robbie."  
  
They drove in silence along the country road, enjoying the sunshine that filled the sky and warmed up the interior of the vehicle. Some twenty minutes later, Luka pulled the SUV into the front gates of the cemetery and parked under a willow tree that was lining the edge of the parking lot. Cutting the engine he looked over at Abby as he was undoing his seatbelt, "Are you ready?"  
  
Wordlessly Abby nodded and removed her own seatbelt. "Lets go say hi."  
  
Hand in hand, the two of them walked across a green field. Abby's sundress was blowing in the breeze and Luka's hair was lifted in the warm wind. Finally they reached the gravesite.  
  
Kneeling down, Abby wiped the gravestone clean, reading the inscription there.  
  
Robert Carter  
February 21, 2004 - February 22, 2004 "The short time you spent with us is a gift we will forever hold cherishingly in our hearts. Love mom and dad."  
  
Abby brushed a tear away and felt Luka's hand on her back. "Why don't we set these flowers up for him?" Luka arranged the bouquet of sunflowers in the little vase provided by the cemetery and stood back. "There."  
  
Abby looked sadly at the beautiful headstone and regarded her dead son lovingly. "Sweetheart, we miss you so much. But you will have a little baby sister soon and I know she will love to hear about you. I will never forget."  
  
Abby leaned down again and touched the palm of her hand on the grave, "I love you."  
  
Her and Luka then left holding hands, walking into a future unknown. 


End file.
